Today…

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Today I wish I had someone to talk to…

I woke up on the wrong side of the…couch and haven’t been able to shake it all day.  Could be the fact that I’ve been up since the butt crack of dawn.  Could be the fact that I have been agitated all week or more like shit has been building up on the inside all week.  That one feeling…hopelessness for my situation.

I’ve been seeing a therapist for about two months now and at times I feel like I’m making a breakthrough and my therapist has stated the same but on this particular day I feel like I haven’t made much progress at all.  I AM FRUSTRATED!!  There is only so much a person can take and I feel that I have depleted all the strength that I can give to living like this.  I’m hanging on the end of a rope about to lose my grip and go tumbling down into an abyss.

Dear God if you hear me…please I am begging you to remove this negative feeling within my soul and replace it with a sense of peace.  I am asking for a sign that you are still with me and that what I am going through will soon be over.  I am asking you to renew my faith and patience, even if just for today.

Any and all prayers are welcome!

This too shall pass…

Depression is quite shitty…

Depression is such a shitty experience to go through.

The waves of depression are so intense that it can leave you feeling so unbelievably hopeless.  Even when you try to look at the positive aspects of your life while riding the wave of depression, the intensity of it can be unbearable.  That sinking feeling that the walls are closing in on you and no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try those walls don’t seem to have any other agenda but to squish you so hard that you can’t breathe.

Faith and hope are tested to infinity and beyond.  Seeing your way out of a hopeless situation is nearly impossible.  Not knowing what to do next to ensure that you survive the crisis.  Feeling terribly alone not wanting to burden anyone else with your problems.

Frustrated…

Sad…

Hopeless…

Searching for that small amount of light to seep through the holes in the wall with the knowledge that this too shall pass…