Today I wish I had someone to talk to…
I woke up on the wrong side of the…couch and haven’t been able to shake it all day. Could be the fact that I’ve been up since the butt crack of dawn. Could be the fact that I have been agitated all week or more like shit has been building up on the inside all week. That one feeling…hopelessness for my situation.
I’ve been seeing a therapist for about two months now and at times I feel like I’m making a breakthrough and my therapist has stated the same but on this particular day I feel like I haven’t made much progress at all. I AM FRUSTRATED!! There is only so much a person can take and I feel that I have depleted all the strength that I can give to living like this. I’m hanging on the end of a rope about to lose my grip and go tumbling down into an abyss.
Dear God if you hear me…please I am begging you to remove this negative feeling within my soul and replace it with a sense of peace. I am asking for a sign that you are still with me and that what I am going through will soon be over. I am asking you to renew my faith and patience, even if just for today.
Any and all prayers are welcome!
This too shall pass…
Have you ever gone through a situation in your life that had such a negative impact that you wanted someone else to be able to experience it too? NOT for the purpose of them having to endure the negative experience, but simply for them to be able to better understand the what and why of how you chose to deal with the issue. The thing is…no one and I mean no one can ever fit inside your shoes and walk the same path as you. My life story and your life story are not and never will be one in the same. People may be able to relate to certain situations but each and everyone is unique in the way that they process their personal life experiences which is why we should try as hard as we can to not intentionally hurt those who surround us. It is inevitable that because we each process things differently that hurt feelings will occur but there is a difference in deliberately hurting someone vs. speaking your truth and having that hurt someone. Never apologize for speaking your truth as long as in your heart you know that it was never meant to intentionally hurt another. On the other hand, if you are a person who intentionally does spiteful things in order to hurt another person then shame on you and may God have mercy on your soul!
There truly is nothing more heart breaking than a person who finds some type of enjoyment at the expense of another human being. Isn’t life hard enough? This shit is quite twisted if you ask me and said person should seek professional help immediately! I mean let’s be real here…I think there is a certain level of spitefulness in everyone, especially when triggered by hurt feelings but at some point on the in between there has to be a light bulb that goes off reminding us that two wrongs don’t make a right and when that happens then we make amends for our part in any wrongdoing.
The point I am trying to make here is that there are those people who will continually do things out of spite over and over again as if it is completely natural and completely justified. What part of their brain isn’t functioning? I’m over it and I’m over the emotional roller coaster involved with dealing with such people. The hard part is when these types of people are your immediate family members but hear me when I say that no one has the right to treat you with the utmost disrespect in order for them to somehow feel better about themselves, not matter who they are. Cute em loose and feel proud for doing so!
Just another day in the life of my thoughts….